PARADOX

A WORD THAT BEST DESCRIBES MY LIFE.

WEBSTER DEFINES PARADOX AS: TO THINK, SUPPOSE. FORMERLY A STATEMENT CONTRARY TO COMMON BELIEF. A STATEMENT THAT SEEMS CONTRADICTORY, UNBELIEVABLE, OR ABSURD, BUT MAY ACTUALLY BE TRUE IN FACT. A PERSON, SITUATION, ACT, ETC. THAT SEEMS TO HAVE CONTRADICTORY OR INCONSISTENT QUALITIES.

I WAS SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD WHEN I WAS IN MY FIRST GILBERT & SULLIVAN MUSICAL, “THE PIRATES OF PENZANCE.” THE THEME OF THE SHOW IS A PARADOX INVOLVING THE MIX UP OF TWO BABIES, ONE THE CHILD OF A COMMONER AND THE OTHER THE CHILD OF AN ARISTOCRAT. THEY GROW UP TO BECOME A COMMON SAILOR IN THE QUEENS NAVY, AND THE OTHER BECOMES THE RULING ADMIRAL OF THE QUEENS NAVY. ONLY ONE PERSON KNOWS ABOUT THE ERROR, THE NANNY WHO MADE THE EXCHANGE. THE SONG THAT DESCRIBES THE SITUATION GOES: “A PARADOX, A PARADOX, A MOST INGENIOUS PARADOX, HA HA, HA HA, HA HA, HA, A PARADOX.

AS A YOUNG PERSON, I WAS A TIMID CHILD OF IMMIGRANTS, WITH LITTLE SELF CONFIDENCE. I DROPPED OUT OF ENGINEERING SCHOOL TO GO TO DRAMA SCHOOL. I WAS CONVERTED TO AN OUTGOING SELF-CONFIDENT ADULT. IN THE PROCESS I MET A YOUNG WOMEN IN THE THEATER WHO SEEMED PARADOXICAL IN HER ACCOMPLISHMENT TO OVERCOME SEVERAL ADVERSITIES IN HER LIFE, THROUGH MUSICAL AND DRAMATIC ABILITY. TOGETHER, FOR OVER 52 YEARS, WE HAVE LIVED WHAT I WOULD CALL A PARADOXICAL LIFE, THROUGH UPS AND DOWNS, THAT HAVE GIVEN US THE MOST FASCINATING EXPERIENCE ANYONE COULD IMAGINE.

MY EXPERIENCE IN THE THEATER NOT ONLY GAVE ME AN ALTERNATIVE FROM A LIMITING LIFE, BUT ALLOWED ME TO ACCEPT CHALLENGES THAT WOULD TAKE ME INTO ENVIRONMENTS I COULD NEVER HAVE DREAMT OF, MEETING PEOPLE THAT I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO MEET.

I WOULD LIKE TO ADD ONE MORE WORD THAT DEFINES PARADOX FOR ME. IT IS “UNCERTAINTY.” PENA CHODRON, IN HER BOOK “COMFORTABLE WITH UNCERTAINTY TALKS ABOUT HOW THE UNCERTAINTY OF HOW YOUR LIFE IS GOING TO EVOLVE, AND HOW YOU CAN ACCEPT THAT UNCERTAINTY. IN THE SECTION TITLED “THE ESSENTIAL PARADOX” SHE SAYS, “COMING UP WITH A FORMULA WON’T WORK. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HELP., BUT ALL THE SAME YOU NEED TO SPEAK AND ACT WITH CLARITY AND DECISIVENESS. CLARITY AND DECISIVENESS COME FROM THE WILLINGNESS TO SLOW DOWN, TO LISTEN TO AND LOOK AT WHAT’S HAPPENING. THEY COME FROM OPENING YOUR HEART AND NOT RUNNING AWAY.”

ALTHOUGH I WAS NOT EXCHANGED WITH ANOTHER BABY AT BIRTH, AS FAR AS I KNOW, I HAVE BEEN CHANGED CONSIDERABLY OVER THE SEVENTY-FIVE YEARS OF MY LIFE IN CONTRADICTORY AND INCONSISTENT WAYS.

“A PARADOX, A PARADOX, A MOST INGENIOUS PARADOX, HA HA, HA HA, HA HA, HA, A PARADOX.”